Today has been a day of deep thinking...Strange for me. If you know me well, and only a few do, you will know that I take things as they are. Which is why today was strange. A good strange though.
In a few weeks, I will reach the grand age of 18. Oooo. The much anticipated age which I have been so excited to hit for the past year whilst asking those a year older to buy me alcohol, and to sneak me into clubs. Yes, for the past year all I have wanted is to be a year old so that I can finally have the freedom which I so greatly desire. But with this, comes huge responsibly. Turning into an adult isn't a number, it's a change and maturity of your personality, and you don't just gain this over the night of your birthday (unfortunately for some). This year I will be moving out of my house, to a halls of residence where I will have to tend after myself, and actually try to cook a meal without burning it. Rather tasking for me.
Anyway, back on track. The excitement I once had, has turned into fear. I know, that once I reach that age, I won't get away with things so easily and that my actions are purely down to me, and me alone. No longer will I be able to point the finger at my parents and blame them. No longer will I be able to run to my dad when I get told off for buying the wrong train ticket. Because I will be old enough and ugly enough to care for myself...according to the law anyway.
Of course I'm excited to be able to go out for cocktails with my girl friends, and waste a load of money on scratch cards, I can even go and get married without my parents permission- whoop! Not that I will of course, for that I would need a boyfriend, which I don't have.
Whilst thinking about all of this today, it suddenly hit me. No matter how much I half want to turn 18, half want to legal stay as a child- it's going to happen. My birthday will come, whether I like it or not. And it's time to grow some balls and actually become mature and realise that yes, I will be an adult, meaning I need to look after myself. It's not like my parents are going anywhere, it's just a mental state I think everyone meets one day. The task is, trying to balance this out with being "fun", so not to turn into a boring old twat who has the mental age of a 60 year old women.
So, after all this I've come to the conclusion that because I can't stop my birthday from happening, Ishould do what I usually do and take it as it comes. That way, I can't really go wrong, can I?
